PSA-Please Stop Asking
Kelli J Gavin
I know what you are thinking. PSA stands for Public Service Announcement. Well, it does not in my world! It has always been an abbreviation for PLEASE STOP ASKING! My entire life I have felt judged, ridiculed, scoffed at. And I am not having it. I am questioned frequently about my life choices, the direction my life has taken and if it has ever dawned on me to do things differently. Bugger off. I don’t think it is anyone’s business. The decisions I make affect only me, so why does everyone think they get a say in my life?
When I was 12 and colored my hair green, maybe not on purpose, My grandmother asked, “Darling, don’t you think you are conveying the wrong message?” What message might that be? “You don’t want people to think you are some sort of punk rocker, do you?”
When I was 16 and I got three additional piercings on each ear, a teacher commented, “They hurt, don’t they? Why so many piercings? You want people to think you are edgy, right? Please just promise me you clean each one with alcohol periodically. Because, oh my word. They scream painful to me!”
When I was twenty one and my aunt asked why I had double sleeves tattooed down my arms. “Why? Such a pretty young girl! What message are you trying to send? You will never find a husband when your arms appear to have ink pens leaking all over them.”
Or when I was 26 and I hadn’t yet retired all of my black and grey clothing. “Sweetheart, you are too pretty to wear all black. Don’t you think a nice burgundy or a rich blue would do you some good?” I wasn’t aware that the lady at the register at the local market also got a say in my appearance.
And to this day, when someone gives me the once over and approaches me with a knowing look, I stop them immediately. I always know when someone is going to start with asking me questions. Why? How could you? Don’t you regret it? Stop right there!- I want to scream!! Please stop asking me stupid questions. Yes, I have a job. No I don’t need a significant other in my life. I have plenty of friends who love me just the way I am. I am overall a joy filled individual. Wearing black and having tattoos and piercings doesn’t take anything away from me. Believe it or not, I lead a very fulfilling life!
So the next time you feel compelled to ask me questions about my life, know this. Your judgemental nature is showing. I see how you look at me. How you squint your eyes. And let me tell you, I am happier than you will ever be, because I learned at a very young age to not judge others by their appearance. You could stand to learn that lesson also. Just PSA!!!
Kelli J Gavin lives in Carver, Minnesota with Josh, her husband of an obscene amount of years and they have two crazy kids. She is a Writer, Professional Organizer and owns Home & Life Organization and a small Jewelry Company. Look for Kelli’s first book of short stories and poems in 2019. You can find her work with The Ugly Writers, Sweatpants & Coffee, Writing In a Woman’s Voice, The Writers Newsletter, Writers Unite!, Academy of the Heart and Mind, The Rye Whiskey Review, Spillwords, Mercurial Stories, 121 Words, Hickory Stump, HerStry, Ariel Chart, The Basil O’Flaherty, PPP Ezine, Southwest Media, Otherwise Engaged, Pleather Skin, Paper.Li, The New Ink Review, among others.
Find Kelli on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram @KelliJGavinBlog found at kellijgavin.blogspot.com